Belly Dreams

  I used to dream about waking up on my 45th birthday and discovering I'm pregnant. Maybe it's a subliminal fear based on what I see when I look at myself sideways in a full-length mirror. That, and the fact that my daughter often pats my belly and asks if I've got a baby sister in there for her.
  I've been pregnant eight times--four miscarriages, four babies--so pregnancy is a major part of my past. After my first baby, I even decided to teach childbirth classes. I guess I had a pregnancy fetish, like some women have shoe fetishes (although I have that, too).
  Anyway, the recurring dream: I'm old and gray and my youngest kid is in middle school. I'm running around the house, frantically searching for my maternity clothes and a crib--which, of course, went to Goodwill a decade ago. Usually I wake up hyperventilating and avoid my confused husband for a few days.
  Once I dreamed that my 70 year-old mother-in-law was pregnant. Talk about weird. But then the next time I saw her, I checked out her belly and realized it doesn't get any better with age. Thank God for elastic waistbands.