Danae found a chair and
watched the show for a few minutes. Sirikit directed the electrode androids to
rotate Ting’s hands and flex his fingers, one at a time.
All this Pinocchio needs is a nose that gets
longer when he tells a lie. “If you cooperate with the therapist, you could get out of here sooner,”
she advised Ting when he paused mid-harangue to catch his breath. “All that
swearing uses up energy you need to get stronger.”
The helmsman glowered
at her before settling into a moody silence. As his ankles rotated and his toes
flexed, one at a time, Danae had to work hard to stifle a giggle. He does look like a puppet.
Behind Ting’s back,
Sirikit gave her a thumbs-up to thank her for getting the helmsman to be quiet.
The therapist glanced past Danae to the doorway of the room. She assumed Erik
was standing there. His short break—or rather, his escape attempt—was over.
The doctor brought a
chair over and set it down a meter away from Danae. He sat, took out his
medical scanner, and appeared to be concentrating on its screen. The cold
shoulder had morphed into the silent treatment.
Ugh. Why does this have to be so difficult? Danae had spent some time soul-searching, as
Shima advised, but still had no idea what to do. In order to have a cordial
working relationship with Erik, however, she would need to discuss what she
already suspected he knew.
She decided to see if
he would bring it up himself. “Something you need to talk about?”
“No.” Erik kept his
eyes fixed on his scanner.
Well, that was abrupt. “Since you’re acting so distant, I just assumed
you’re mad at me. Would that be an accurate assumption?”
No response.
Feeling irritated, she
tried again, this time with sarcasm. “Since I failed Mind Reading 101, maybe
you could try verbal communication.”
After another uncomfortable
silence, Erik spoke in a quiet monotone. “There’s nothing to talk about,
really. I think I made a big mistake. I should have stayed on the station.”
Danae was waging a
losing battle with her patience. “No one’s keeping you here. Find passage back
to Mars if that’s what you want to do.”
“I’m under contract.”
“I’ll expunge it from
the ship’s legal files. You’re free to go.” The thought of Erik leaving made
her sick to her stomach. But he should
know by now I don’t play games.
There was another long
silence as she waited for a response.
Erik turned his head to
look at her. “I mentioned once, not too long ago, that I never wanted to do
anything that would add to your pain. I feel like I might be . . . standing in
the way of an opportunity for you . . . to be happy.”
Don’t say it. Danae hated being on the defensive, even if it
was her fault they were having this awkward conversation. She could feel her
anger building and knew she would say or do something she would regret if Erik
didn’t stop being his usual calm, level-headed self. He was clearly trying to
give her an easy exit, and she couldn’t explain why this made her furious.
The doctor wasn’t
making eye contact or he might have noticed that she was about to go nuclear. He
kept talking. “If you’ve found someone else—”
“Where did you get such
a stupid idea!” Danae ignored the
shocked looks on Sirikit’s and Ting’s faces. She was on her feet, facing down
Erik with her hands on her hips.
“What you saw
yesterday—don’t deny it!” she snapped when he started to shake his head. “What
you saw was a mistake! Cade had me cornered
and I—!”
“You weren’t cornered!” He sprang from his chair, glaring down at
her from his towering two meters, his pale complexion taking on a bright pink
hue. “You think I would’ve just stood there and watched if I thought he was trying to take advantage of you?”
Erik took a deep breath
and made a visible effort to rein in his own temper. “I would’ve given York a
brain biopsy without anesthesia if I hadn’t seen with my own eyes how much you
were enjoying that kiss!” His bass
voice cracked on the last word, but he wasn’t finished hurling accusations at
her.
“Just be honest with
me, Danae! That’s all I’m asking! Just admit you’re interested in York and—!”
“I’m not interested in him! What happened
yesterday was a mistake!” Even as she
said it, she realized it was how she really felt. “It was a stupid, impulsive
mistake! I should’ve said no and pushed him away.” She hesitated, lowering her
gaze to the breast pocket of Erik’s scrubs shirt so she wouldn’t have to see
the hurt in his eyes. “I don’t know why I didn’t. I shouldn’t have given him
the wrong impression.”
Mingled with her fresh
pang of guilt was an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. Why do I keep pushing people away, like Shima said?
“I wanted to tell you
in the galley this morning, but you took off like I had some kind of incurable
disease.” This thought rekindled her temper and she glanced up at his face
again. “I guess expecting you to be understanding was my second mistake.”
Erik flinched at her
words, but she didn’t give him a chance to respond. “I don’t need people in my
life who are quick to judge me and bail out at the first sign of trouble. You
may have noticed that I seem to attract trouble.”
Her emotions were
jockeying for position, but Danae couldn’t decide which one should win. Was she
angry or was she afraid? Was she right to send Erik packing, or was her
stubborn pride pushing her to make a huge mistake? Her hands started to shake,
but she slipped them into her hip pockets, hoping he wouldn’t notice.
The doctor glanced
down, following her hand movement, but then he brought his eyes back up to her
face. His disgruntled look seemed frozen in place, but she thought she saw a
flicker of remorse in his eyes. He looked as though he wanted to say something,
but was making a concerted effort to keep his mouth shut.
Danae’s energy was
fading. She was tired of arguing with oversized men who questioned her
decisions and felt an irrational need to protect her as if she were dainty and
helpless. Cade wants to guard my body and
Erik wants to shelter my emotions, even after they’ve both seen me handle situations under
pressure—under gunfire!—without their help.
She was tired of the emotional roller coaster.
She wanted to get off the ride, permanently.
But before she walked away, she had a few more things to say. “I can’t
believe I risked everything—my ship,
my crew, my freedom, and possibly my life—to return to Mars Station for you! I
must have been out of my mind! It was a stupid, dangerous—!”
Danae wasn’t sure how
it happened. Even with her spacer’s reflexes, she was taken by surprise. She
experienced a split-second of fear when Erik lunged at her, his hands out as if
he intended to throttle her, but he grabbed her by the waist instead and picked
her up, cutting off her rant mid-sentence with a kiss that was nothing like the
one Cade had pressured her to accept.
Erik’s warm lips
briefly touched hers and then he drew back a few centimeters, not saying a
word. He looked into her eyes as he held her in this awkward hug, with his arms
around her waist and her feet half a meter off the floor.
Danae was confused, and
her conflicting emotions only added to her perplexity. It took her a full
minute to figure out he was waiting for her to respond. She could demand that he
put her down, or she could accept his unspoken invitation. It was her choice.
My choice. The indecision was gone, replaced by a fleeting moment
of clarity.
Her hands were still
trembling as she placed them on either side of Erik’s face. There was a hint of
white-blond stubble on his cleft chin, but she thought it suited him. She
studied the unusual white eyelashes that brought out the startling turquoise
color of his irises. She saw only warmth and concern in those eyes, and a trace
of apprehension.
Erik mustered a hopeful
smile and that’s what broke down the last of her defenses.
She closed her eyes,
brought her chin forward until she found his lips again, and responded to his
invitation with an RSVP he could appreciate. He was more than willing to let
her take the lead, and it turned into a long, passionate kiss.
Danae didn’t need to
use her imagination, not with Erik. All of her worries melted away and she lost
track of time. She forgot she was angry, forgot she was lonely, forgot about
the empty place in her soul that Alex had left behind.
“Get a room!” Ting’s
shout jolted them back to reality.
They broke off the
marathon kiss, but Danae was reluctant to let go. She pressed her cheek to
Erik’s so she could whisper in his ear, “I’m scared . . . and I’m not ready.”
What she wasn’t ready
for, she couldn’t articulate. Not ready
to let my guard down, not ready for a relationship, not ready to get serious .
. . not ready to take a chance on love again? Somehow she knew he would
understand what she meant, and she was right.
“I’m scared, too,” he
whispered back. “You take all the time you need.”
“Shima told me you’d say
that.” Danae couldn’t help it, she giggled.
“Shima’s a wise soul.” Erik was unsuccessful at
keeping a straight face. His laughter bubbled up until his entire body shook.
He set Danae on her feet.
They laughed until Ting
got impatient and told them to chill. This struck Danae as so hilarious that she
couldn’t stop laughing until Erik handed her a tissue to blot her streaming
eyes.
She couldn’t remember
the last time she had laughed so hard. I
could get used to this.
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