Prayers for Nathaniel

  My life was a blur when I had small boys. The oldest was six years old when number four was born. 'Crazy' was an apt description of my life. I was so busy meeting their basic needs for food, clean clothes and diapers, and transportation to preschool and soccer practice, that sometimes I neglected my own needs. Thank goodness for a camcorder or I would have forgotten all the sweet moments, the laugh-out-loud funny things they did and said.

  My third son made me laugh the most, but he also gave me heart attacks. Nathaniel was absolutely fearless, very unlike his cautious, easy-going older brothers. I had to relearn how to parent when Nathaniel came along. At 18 months, he walked to the edge of a two-story balcony with no railing. I couldn't reach him because the space was only wide enough for a toddler to squeeze through.

  I've never prayed so hard in my life. But God heard my prayers, and Nathaniel turned away from the ledge and came back to my waiting arms.

 Two weeks later, Nathaniel vanished from the yard when I turned my back for a moment. We lived on a cul-de-sac so there was no fear of him getting hit by a car, but I frantically searched for half an hour, recruiting the help of any neighbor I could find. I don't think I stopped praying the entire thirty minutes, until he reappeared from a backyard. He explained that he had gone to see a doggie, and was mystified why I was sobbing and hugging him so tightly.
 
At twelve, Nathaniel was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He spent his thirteen birthday in the hospital. Eighth grade was a blur as he recovered from surgery and struggled to adjust to a synthetic thyroid replacement while going through puberty. It was a long road to recovery, complicated by years of 'self-medicating' and addiction. I've never spent so much time on my knees, praying for one individual. I consider Nathaniel my greatest challenge in life, and one of my greatest blessings.

 I've never stopped asking God to watch over Nathaniel, my heart attack child. On Sunday he moves out to attend college. He'll be living by himself in an apartment in an unfamiliar city. I think I'll be doing a lot more praying, but I'll trust in God to watch over him. My job as a mother is (mostly) done.